I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
