Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize