I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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