i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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