wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Never joke about your clitoris.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
