walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
