That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
