Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
