What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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