with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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