Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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