please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
