I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
