Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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