Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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