Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
