i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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