the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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