her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
A bitchslap is in order.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
