Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize