is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
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no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
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I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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