My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
