Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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