i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Randomize
