just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
