Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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