Acid is not a monday night drug
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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