I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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