You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
