I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
