Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
