i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
