Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
