Well douche your snatch and let's go!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
