very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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