I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
