He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
