anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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