I'm really into asian looking animals
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
