In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
