I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
