Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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