I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
