i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
