just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
