so explain again why im purple
no
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
