so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
