why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
