Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
