Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
