sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
