Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
