Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
