i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
