so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
