No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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