Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
