I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
