i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
