Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize