I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.