I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.