i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
yeah, it was that bad.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...