Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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