no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
