I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
PANTIES FOUND
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