I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
there is glitter all over my balls
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize