You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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